Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize