He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
