Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize