If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
