my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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