you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
