Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
