the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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