Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
