Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
