The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
