I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
vagina is talking i cant
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
