My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
