i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize