real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
