So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
