she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize