Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
