Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
