So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
