two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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