Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
