two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
