Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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