i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
