Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
