I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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