I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
