he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
