everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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