We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
