omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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