at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
