I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
