I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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