I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
