Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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