Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
