so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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