I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
