the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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