I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
