The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
