if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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