**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
