It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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