Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
