just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
ttyl tear gas
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
