it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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