North Korea, Best Korea!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His nipple licking is glorious
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