Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize