Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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