Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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