Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
