You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
