Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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