break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
