Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize