Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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