The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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