All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
