Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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