Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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